tonberrykitten:

tonberrykitten:

Welcome! I am TonberryKitten and I am here to talk a little bit about aftercare! Aftercare is important to littles! This is to show them even if they were punished/scolded/negative reactions they are still loved by their caregiver.

What is aftercare:

Aftercare are certain small things you do after you have had to do a negative reinforcement with a little. It is important because tons of little’s suffer from anxiety and depression and having a bad reaction from their caregiver can strengthen these feelings. This can also help keep your bond strong with your little. 

When should aftercare be given:

If after a punishment then I would say let what they did sink in before you aftercare. I would say around 10 mins should be a fine time however it should be no greater than 20 mins. The longer you leave them sad and without comfort the worse it is for them.

If they have bad day give them aftercare when they come home. If you two have had a bad fight. Give it time to settle and then aftercare (do not leave to much time) 

Things to do as aftercare:

-Soothing words

-Cuddles

- Light kisses and hugs

-Give them a stuffie to cuddle/ Give them their comfort item

-Make them a bath

-Give them milk, tea, or their favorite soothing drink

-Rubs Back and non-naughty butt rubs are the best but also head pats and rubs.

-Hold them and wrap them in a blanket

-Favorite little movie

-Light snack (sandwich, graham crackers, crackers, and cheese)

During Aftercare make sure to:

-Give them lots fo reassurance that you still love them

-Tell them that everything is going to be okay

-Apologize for any bad names or words said

-Explain in a low and soft voice why you fought/why they were punished.

-Explain that punishing them is not fun. That is done so that they will learn and better themselves.

Not an effective form of aftercare:

-Giving them presents (teaches them that they can just get rewarded even if they were bad)

-Still speaking in a raised voice

-Distance

-No fun trips to the toy store or for Ice cream 

-Nothing too heavy…especially if they have been crying. Heavy food will upset tummies.

-Do not try to prove a point or should I say your point in a fight.

This is about all I could think of. IF you would like to add more or have questions or comments I allow them in reblogs, replies, and asks. If you are too shy for those you may PM me. Next time I think I shall do something about encouraging Self care

For More of my Caregiver 101s please look for the tag TonberryKitten101s

Re sharing my past 101s

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tonberrykitten:

Taking away privliages -  If your little has privilages take them away. This can includ reducing skype time with caregiver but never ever take that fully away. They need to be able communicate with Daddy. 

Line Writing -  Have little write lines. If they tell you no have them write “I will not say no to Caregiver.” 100 times or so. You probably can combine the two where they won’t get privilages back until they are done with lines.

Time out/hand sitting- If you aren’t there in person have Little facetime you and tell them to put the camera where you can see them. Have them sit in a corner on the floor or sit in a chair with their hands under their legs. You messure the time how you like. 

Verbal scolding - Make sure you aren’t too harsh. Remember they are little! Use the strict tone and tell them what they did wrong. Have them tell you of how they could have done it right and corrected themself. 

Grounding - No social media, Movies, TV, ect for a period of time. You can combine this one with the line writing as well. Maybe a little essay even. 

NO MATTER WHAY ALWAYS REMEMBER TO AFTER CARE

Always remember to after care your little after a punishment. They need to know you still love them even after they have been bad.

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